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| 12:08am 24/03/2005 |
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mood:  curious music: electric candy shop
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the power to create
and also to destroy
we all have it
we all abuse it
none of us understand anything
nothing we do is normal
our influences are many
though we dont take advice
running along our own path
the world passes in a blink of an eye
missing our childhood
heading full speed ahead
leaving the ones we love behind
thinking we're going to be ok
believing we're not
totally contridicting everything
thinking we know it all
but undeniably stupid
finding that one love
the one that slows us down
afraid well lose them
and then everything will fade
so we try to live
always in the moment
not thinking about anything
not whats happened
or whats going to happen tomorrow |
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| 04:08pm 22/03/2005 |
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mood:  accomplished music: electric candy shop
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its now officially sprind it has been for a couple of days but now it acutally feels like it. if got this feeling in my gut that this summer everything is going to change for me. i need to start takin more responsibility and not rely on everyone as much. i need to move out but i need to find a job first and i need to get my liscense. mike said he would pick up that stupid physical sheet thing at the dmv and then im going to look into getting med plus or whatever cause right now i have no insurance and no job so i dont even have it through there. so yeah slowly but surly im going to get on my feet i hope. california is less than a year and a half away and im siked as shit about it. its gonna suck leavin everyone behind but its something i need to do for myself. everything is going to fall into place within the next few months i hope. |
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| 01:06am 21/03/2005 |
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mood:  tired
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eh just another update. life sucks what else is new got fired but most of you already know that. looking for another job so if anyone could help just let me know. got a seven thousand dollar credit limit i can use wanna know more ask and i shall enlighten ye. been going to wilkes barre alot looking for a job out there too. debating about alot in my life dont knwo myself trhing to figure me out though its not going so well.just want to lay down and die |
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| 12:59am 17/03/2005 |
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mood:  content
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hey everyone another update lol. it actually hasnt been that long so im happy. lol. alot has been happening more than i care to write in an online journal though. so if youre my friend outside of this just ask and i shall enlighten you.
got fired from dollar general for missing two days. i hated the fucking job anyway so leaves me more time to sleep number one and more time to look for another job.
other than that nothing really is going on so ill talk to you all later buh bye |
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| just an update |
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| 05:12am 09/03/2005 |
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mood:  indescribable music: ~space machine~ electric candy shop
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Thats right I'm updating... I'm going to try to update more often but dont hold me to it.
ive got a new laptop now. i fixed my myspace account met some really cool guys. haha.
im pretty much going to do everything i want now. im going to get a second job cause im hoping walmart is hiring and if they hire me there im going to look for somewhere else thats hiring cause i hate dollar general. im going to start going to a gym because obviously eating alot isnt helping me gain weight lol. so im going to try to bulk up a little. im not going be one of those guys that can like their nipple. hell no i dont want to be that big in the nipple area..... other areas maybe but definately not that area.
mike knows i used to like him. he asked me straight out and i told him. then i tried to make it so i didnt have to hangout with him as much but i didnt work cause i used not liking to ask for rides as an excuse(which is true) but he was like other people ask for rides all the time your not the only one. so i said that it was the whole asking part that always bothers me and hes like well then get your liscense. so its wierd all this time ive been dying to hangout with mike and i do once a week and now that i dont want to anymore hes making it seem like he wants me there. i mean its going to be ackward between us for awhile. at least i think so but im going to try and not let that happen.
friends have pissed me off once again. no one seems to think im going out to california. well all i have to say to them is you must not know me very well. hell ill even go out there to prove all you guys wrong for not believing in me in the first place. yeah i know its mean but come on arent they supposed to be supporting me not not this?
um i have a new sn. just ask me for it im not just giving it out anymore. yeah i know hopefully ill have this one for a long time lol.
well thats all for now
adios my pals
tate, damien, dustin, and bones |
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| 08:22am 28/02/2005 |
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mood: tired music: get back to you on this one
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hello to all. it hasnt been as long as it could have been so no fucking complaining from anyone.
i have decided on wanting a boyfriend for now lol. trust me hard decision. but i mean think about it you get the best of everything the pole, the hole, and the nipples so where the hell can you go wrong?!
im now working at dollar general. easy job and they are hiring so if youre 18 and live in scranton i suggest you apply lol.
well thats it for now toodles lol
tate |
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| interesting question good luck reading |
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| 02:41pm 04/02/2005 |
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mood: amused music: almost had you
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How can you be what you're not? That’s actually a really good question. Does anyone really have the answer? Can you be something you aren't? I guess it all depends on what you are or at least what you see yourself as being. But even then the answer is still complicated. You would also have to take into account who you are as well as what you and what you want to be. Is what you want to be within your capabilities? Is it within reach of your beliefs? Can you be what you want without really, truly knowing yourself? Or is this all a wild goose chase and you are who you are and there is nothing you can do about it. I guess in this argument religion has a major part. According to most religions we are here for a reason. So if were here for a reason then we are meant to be what we are and it’s impossible to change. Doesn’t really seem fair does it? Why put us here to experience life when we have no choice on how to live it? Where do we get the experience in that? How can we make mistakes and learn from them if its not really our choices were making? Everyone is always saying life isn’t fair. If you go down the path of religion and you’re meant to do what you’re doing then yes it’s not fair. You don’t have a choice and that’s just not the way life should be lived. But if you don’t believe in that then yes I think life is fair. Where would we all be if life held no challenges? It would be boring and monotonous. Is that the way it should be? I guess the only way you can be who you truly want to be is by overcoming you’re greatest challenge... your greatest fear. To meet it head on and surpass above and beyond it. So I guess the answer to the question how can you be something you’re not... well there really isnt one answer. But personally my opinion is that whether your preppy punk Goth or don’t label yourself, you’re you no matter what you do in life because its you who chooses the path you take. And therefore if you choose the path in the beginning by the time you get to the end of it your not a different person. You’re the same person only wiser and you’ve grown but you’re roots are still there. So no matter what the reflection shows at the end of the path the inside didn’t change.... it more like... grew up. Grew from what you were into what you are and even though they may be completely different they are still the same person sharing the same body just different points of view. |
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| fuck me |
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| 06:01pm 03/01/2005 |
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mood:  pissed off music: underoath
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ive had alot on my mind lately... and none of it good. for instance how can any of you say you know me when i dont even know myself? does that make any sense to anyone? for all any of us know you might not know me at all. hell i might be a fucking psycho stalking you. this is fucking stupid how many of you actually think you really know me?
and what am i waiting here for? i have nothing here except that little handful of people that i sometimes like to call friends. and to top it off not many of them are there when i really need them so what is the point. who would fucking care if i picked up and left and not tell anyone. does anyone realize how close i am to doing that. what have i got here,...... nothing thats what. name some fucking reasons i should stay. id like to hear them cause obviously i havent thought of them so waht the fuck are they? this is so fucking frustrating. now im going to have people saying we know you and were youre friends but the truth is guys how do you know? how do any of ust know who our true friends are? or in other words where our loyalties lie. i mean im always there for my friends but its hardly ever the other way around. how can anyone think thats fucking fair? is this all life is meant to be? how is this fucking fair? god damn this fucking existence |
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| 04:30pm 28/12/2004 |
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mood:  nervous music: none right now not at site hahaha
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I GOT A FUCKING MINI FRIDGE!!!!!!!! and that would pretty much be it.
didnt get anything else really just little shit. but its all good. i have the interview at blockbuster in like another hour and im nervous as all fuck. i better fucking get it. ive been trying to get hired there for like the past five months. |
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| 12:35pm 26/11/2004 |
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yes i know its been awhile since my last update.(actual update) im at work right now and its kinda slow so i have some free time. well news, i might be getting that job at blockbuster. im getting an interview with the manager from new york, her name is erin. so im guessing thats a good sign. i hope i get the job. my profile think for my new screenname does not mean all my friends. there are some of you out there who have never let me down and i want to thank you. but im not saying names as to not start a fight with those i do not name. but i would like to think you know who you are(meaning the ones who have stood by me). im going to be going out to california in two years to go to school. im going to go for photography. its def going to be expensive but what else is new? |
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| this fucking sucks |
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| 12:58am 24/11/2004 |
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did i fucking do something wrong. i fucking didnt write in this god damn fucking journal becuase you fucking asked me to. i mean what the fuck did i do? yeah i fucking know youre not going to fucking read this but itll get this stupid shit off my chest. i mean the least you could do is fucking block me or something that way i fucking know you dont want to talk to me. thats just fucking wrong. why the fuck did i even think you wanted to be my fucking friend. i mean obviously not you fucking asshole |
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| just an update |
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| 01:26am 12/09/2004 |
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mood: calm music: sweet child of mine (guns n roses)
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just got back from bowling with lynn and lori. told them the whole tate story lynn thought it was funny. nothing really major happening right now except the movie mike is making. im the stunt double for the killer. no one knows who the real killer is not even the cast hell i dont even know who he is damn it. the last seen i need to leave the costume in the room and leave and the real killer sneaks in puts it on and when the audience is supposed to find out we find out. its really fucked up but then again so is mike lol. nothing other than that happening really just figured id give some people some reading material for when thier bored lol. bye for now |
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| 01:04pm 18/05/2004 |
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You're AFI!
Love the music. Its sad, its depressing, its slow, its perfect. Sing the Sorrow. So theres rumors about you and your guitarrist...music isnt about the news, scandals, and tabloids, its about the emotions.Which band icon are you? |
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| ??? |
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| 12:57am 18/05/2004 |
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cry yourself to sleep
feel the tears fall
creating more pain
in already open sores
torn between too many things
life just isnt fair
dont dwell on the past
its not worth it anymore
walk away from all you know
start over someplace new
welcome the new arms
that welcome you
one last chance... |
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| friends only |
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| 04:24pm 25/04/2004 |
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if you want to be added to my freinds list then comment and i might add you. |
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shadowgplayer's journal